Sex and the Human Animal

Bats and fellatio?

2009-11-01T19:04:00.005-05:00

I want to suck your what???

When it comes to oral fixations, seems bats have more on their minds than necks. At least according to this item from New Scientist. The article reports:

Female short-nosed fruit bats have been observed performing fellatio on their partners during copulation. Mating pairs spent more time copulating if the female did so.

Here's the video of the bats in action. Wink. Nudge. Hide the kids. Or at least your adolescent pet fruit bats.

John of the Jungle: Primates and prostitution

2008-01-13T22:28:00.000-05:00

Alas, another differentiator between man and other, "lesser" animals is being debunked: Humans apparently aren't alone when it comes to whipping out the metaphorical wallet to pay for some booty. A study published in the December issue of Animal Behavior and referenced in Time suggests long-tailed macaque monkeys exhibit a version of hooking, governed by supply and demand, primate style.

Female macaques barter sex for grooming from males. If the johns of the jungle spend sufficient time picking pesky nits from the backs of monkey-ho’s, they get to off together to some secluded monkey parking lot and have monkey sex.

In what the authors refer to as biological market theory, the time males spend grooming decreases when the number of available females increases. Hmm. Maybe that's two more differentiators ... .

SSRIs may depress sex drive

2008-01-05T00:12:00.000-05:00

Love is a lot of things, but what scientists are learning is that mostly it is a chemical cocktail. Now studies are showing that a class of frequently prescribed anti-depressants, SSRIs such as Prozac, can limit the body’s production of those chemicals, leading to feelings of apathy in a relationship that some may confuse with a new inability to fall in love. Many people on the meds find it more difficult, and sometimes impossible, to reach orgasm.

In a story on the matter, Psychology Today interviewed a woman who confused her Prozac-induced anorgasmia with trouble in her relationship and broke up with her boyfriend. Others report the same pattern of prescription, apathy and dissolution of a courtship and difficulty entering another one. In fact, about 70 percent of surveyed patients report sexual side effects.

The dilemma is compounded in that the drugs may be over-prescribed, with individuals who could be treated without the drugs suddenly encountering a problem as bad or worse than the one that sent them to the doctor in the first place. In other words: Bad sex? Now that’s depressing.

Speed-dating study: Women more picky about race

2008-01-01T22:50:00.000-05:00

Not all science is confined to the lab or the multiple choice survey. Some research actually involves bars! That was the locus of a study done by economist and business professor Ray Fisman. His mission: Find out what heterosexual men and women are really after when searching for a partner.

Fisman set up a speed-dating program and affixed independent judges to supplement the feedback of the participants themselves.

Do men prefer beauty over brains? Yep. Though brains were okay, so long as the men didn’t perceive the particular woman as being smarter than he. Are brains more important to women than looks? Again, no surprise. The margin of preference for intellect over handsomeness was double.

Most interesting was that race matter more to women than men. Generally, race didn’t appear to matter at all to men, but women were picky, mostly choosing to exclude males of different races. The only exception was that Asian women didn’t discriminate against white males. As a result, the pairing of white men/Asian women was the most common mixed-race coupling.

Women behaving manly

2007-12-23T09:34:00.000-05:00

A video on Slate explores the apparently under-reported world of women who dress up as man and take to the stage for various kinds of performances. Called Drag Kings, some of the women exacerbate androgynous characteristics toward the masculine side of the spectrum and do things like rap or mime Tom Jones songs.

Want to be more manly? One veteran advises a newbie to wear heavier shoes so as to walk more clumsily, "take up more space," and tilt her head to one side.

Who knew. I'm doing that stuff today to see if my notices! Hmmm. Christmas sex!

Monkeys and math

2007-12-23T09:21:00.000-05:00

According to a study by Duke University, some monkeys can perform as well as college students when it comes to a certain math problems.

We have known for a while that simians and pre-verbal humans have an abstract concept of numbers, but the new research is the first to show that monkeys are able to do something with the numbers.

As the problems in the test became more difficult, monkeys and the humans experienced the same increase in error rate, further linking the two species' brains in terms of type of arithmetic ability.

Desparation = rejection

2007-10-03T04:50:00.000-04:00

Here's further proof that one of the best known laws of economics applies to romance: The more available something is, the less value it is perceived to have.

Researchers at Northwestern University studied speed daters. Women who selected a larger number of men for follow-up meetings received fewer favorable responses than women who selected just a smaller number.

One of the researchers, Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., said in essence that while showing an abundant openness to others may help one succeed in building platonic relationships, it make one seem desperate in the quest for love.

To succed in attracting others romantically, the researchers say, be very open to one person, but not so much to everyone else.

Click here to read a larger story on the report, as well as some other insights into modern love.

Primates exhibit harassing behavior

2007-09-16T08:33:00.000-04:00

Here’s something you don’t hear every day: “The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts.”

The quote is from Lucy Njeri, who lives in a village in Kenya. She and other women have come to dread the morning harvesting routine because of the estimated 300 vervet monkeys who raid the crops, according to this BBC story.

The monkeys will not confront male members of the village, and seem able to distinguish them from the females—even when the females come dressed as males. When the women show up, the vervets taunt with sex-related antics and throw stones.

The insults are not the only injury: the piggish primates are causing a food shortage.

Sleep: Depraved?

2007-09-09T13:38:00.000-04:00

Scienceline.org attempts to lift the eyelids on a truism about sex: After it is over, men want to go to sleep.

Some women take the inclination personally, as though the man had come for a feast at someone’s house, engorged himself, and left without so much as taking time for a post-meal cup of coffee.

Research shows there’s no need for offense: After orgasm—particularly one where a partner is involved in helping bring it about (as opposed to one the fruit of masturbation)—the male brain releases a flood of chemicals a number of which even in isolation could make someone drowsy. Like eating a big meal of turkey and coasting to dreamland on a tide of L-tryptophan, a satisfying bout of lovemaking has chemical properties to send the man to dreamland.

But for what good in terms of natural selection?

One possibility is that the drowsiness is an insignificant byproduct of the chemical release. In other words, one of the chemicals (oxytocin) promotes bonding, but an incidental side-effect may be sleepiness.

More meaningful, however, is this possibility: A drowsy man is more likely to hang around with the his partner after sex. Should another male come along, the satisfied lover can keep the potential interloper away, giving the lover’s sperm time to fertilize the egg.

The Scienceline.org story wraps up with a pretty good line that should console women who are aggrieved when their partners fall asleep after sex. Worth a trip to the story by itself.

Phrase ‘make love’ has very literal relevance to sex

2007-09-09T13:25:00.000-04:00

I never understood the phrase ‘make love’ until several years ago, when I first read about the chemical oxytocin (not to be confused with oxycontin). Our bodies produce it as one physiological byproduct of orgasm, and when present in sufficient quantities, it creates feelings of intimacy and bonding.

Another chemical often associated with love—dopamine—is created with initial attraction to possible mates. When enough of the boxes are checked on our list of characteristics for a good mate, the chemical sprays out and leads to courtship, helping men at least manifest characteristics such as increased risk-taking behavior that women may find desirable.

In other words, for long-term relationships, dopamine (attraction) is the spark that starts the fire, while oxytocin (bonding) is the fuel that keeps it burning.

An article in National Geographic quotes anthropologist Helen Fisher describing a couple of the verge of divorce until the woman began having orgasms inside the relationship. (Her antidepressant had dulled her sexual responsiveness; once she went off it, things picked up.)

“She felt the renewal of attraction for her husband, and they’re now in love all over again,” Fisher said.

I have known many women who have trouble keeping themselves in a healthy, long-term relationship. Not coincidentally, Fisher might say, many are women who have not been able to climax with a partner.

Well, then, what about masturbation? In a sexless relationship, would solo activity do the job of intercourse-based orgasm? Apparently not.

Cavemen: Not just for Geico anymore

2007-09-09T10:56:00.000-04:00

Maybe Geico Insurance is on to something after all: Cavemen rock. At least for women. Especially fertile women.

A new study (read about it here) says male faces that are shorter between the eyebrow and the upper lip and broader between cheek bones rate as more masculine and more attractive to women than taller faces. Previous studies have shown that the preference for masculine appearance goes up during times of female fertility. So, if you have a short, broad face and are going to be close to a female during ovulation, be sure to stop by Rite Aid before the evening wears on.

Examples of men with this type of face include Will Smith and Brad Pitt, according to the survey. But what about Danny DeVito? Wouldn’t he qualify?

You look egg-stremely hot today!

2007-09-08T17:34:00.000-04:00

According to a recently published study, covered in Slate, women subconsciously choose to dress more attractively when they’re ovulating.

Female college students were photographed and urine-tested twice a month, not knowing the true purpose of the study. The urine was tested for ovulation markers, and the photographs were shown to judges who were asked to choose in which of the photographs the women were attempting to look more attractive. Sixty percent of the time, the judges chose photos taken during ovulation.

One female friend of mine was recently chastised by a stranger at a bar for being too flirtatious. “You must be ovulating, honey,” the woman said to my friend, “because you’re really putting it out there.”

Making your partner jealous: Evil ploy or good marketing?

2007-08-27T05:31:00.000-04:00

More than 3,800 people have so far commented on David Zinczenko’s Yahoo! column on jealousy.

The article, “4 (Harmless) Way to Make a Man Jealous,” posits that are “surefire ways to safely and compassionately poke your partner with the jealousy stick without risking more serious issues.” The payoff, he says, is increased attention and better overall treatment.

I’ve suggested it before here: Relationships are controlled by what amount to market forces. Perceived value and limited supply create demand. If a partner is neglecting you, perhaps it’s because he or she thinks you are too easily available. Curtailing access or indicating other suitors are vying for it can increase what another suitor (read would-be buyer) is willing to pay.

The same principle holds true in courtship. Appearing less interested creates more interest in the other than appearing more interested.

Ages 35-44: The male mid-life crises

2007-08-16T05:35:00.000-04:00

A new study provides further proof that the period between robust youth and advanced age is especially difficult for men.

About 1,600 men and women were asked to score their level of well-being and contentment on a 1-10 scale. Men ages 35-44 scored far lower than any other group. Women, while bottoming out nowhere near men, said their most difficult years were between ages 25-34. Both groups said the college-age years were best, and both perk up as they amble through their 60s.

Some observations:

* While it was no surprise that others rated highly the relatively care-free years before career, marriage and children, I didn’t expect contentment to return so strongly so late in life.

* Researchers attribute the timing of least contentment for women to the fact that many women have their children during those years, and that the period as a result is very stressful.

* Men bottom out when they do, said the story in This is London, because they perceive they have passed the zenith (my paraphrase) of their lives. Once the mourning is over, contentment predicated on acquiescence returns.

As a 43-year-old male, I relate to the survey respondents who report malaise associated with this period. There is a sense that I will never be as energetic as I was just a few years ago. Nor as virile. It’s clear my wife is less interested in the physical aspect of our relationship, and judged even from the safe harbor of a monogamous relationship, there is less interest from other women. My children are fathered and at most need just a few more years of my influence. Nature is done with me.

The limitations of my career as a journalist are becoming clearer, and the hopes of my younger self show themselves more every day as mere fancies: If I were going to write a novel, wouldn’t I have written it? If I were going to be a comedian, wouldn’t I be on stage?

I have flown home from an adventure, so it feels, and sit in an airplane that has taxied to its gate, and there is nothing to do but flip once more through the airline magazine while I wait for the door to open and let me out to baggage claim.

Partners: Can we believe the numbers?

2007-08-15T05:23:00.000-04:00

In this New York Time's piece (registration may be required), sex researchers address the mathematical impossibility--or at least the extreme unlikelihood--that survey data on the number of sexual partners is accurate.

Routinely, male survey respondents report about 75 percent more sexual partners than female survey respondents. Anyone with basic knowledge of statics knows the data can't be believed: Even if just a few women among the survey groups are having the all the extra sex, giving the men the opportunity to raise their number of partners, their numbers should show up in the average for all the women.

How to explain the disparity? The story offers a couple of possibilities:

Some people are lying. Our culture--indeed, our animal nature--indicates men are somewhat better at being men if they have more partners, and women are somewhat better at being women (or at least not being labeled a slut) if they have fewer. Even in an anonymous questionnaire in front of them, people just may be too embarrassed to fess up to reality and therefore exaggerate or under-report the true numbers.
Men are finding those extra partners outside the pool of women typically surveyed. For example, the men with higher numbers may have visited prostitutes, or picked up the partners on trips overseas. The fault with this theory is the improbability that so many men are using hookers or heading down to the Philippines.

Another explanation I'd offer is this: Tempted to conform to expectations of higher numbers for men and lower for women, survey respondents answer based on different definitions of who constitutes a sex partner. Imagine a couple engages in oral sex but not full coitus. The man, wanting to add a number to his tally, may consider her a partner. The woman, wanting not to add another partner, may not consider him a partner.

Age of Love: Final episode

2007-08-14T05:51:00.000-04:00

Before moving with renewed vigor into the intended normal beat of Sex and the Human Animal, obeisance to protocol dictates I wrap up coverage of NBC’s “Age of Love” reality show.

More than a week has passed since the episode aired, and devotees of the program certainly know that Mark, the 30-year-old bachelor, chose 20-something Amanda over 48-year-old Jennifer. They likely have had their fill of analysis (the threshold for satiety being likely low, given the thin premise of “Age of Love” and the somewhat predictable outcome. And they may even know that Jennifer has a Web site for her modeling endeavors. I would show a photo, but she has protected them against copying them from the site, and frankly, doing a screen capture and crop just doesn’t seem worth the effort. She is a beautiful woman, to be sure, and given the chemistry between her and Mark, I conclude that but for her age, she would have been Mark’s final choice.

Well, I say that, but wonder, too, what the effect was of a bizarre revelation Jennifer made during their carriage ride. She whispered to Mark, in essence, that during one sexual encounter, she had a number of orgasm so large that Mark could reply only that he didn’t believe that number was possible. Did she then seem sleazy to Mark, who strikes me as a person of taste and candor? Did she establish a precedent Mark didn’t believe he could match? (Men are competitive about this sort of thing.) Perhaps Jennifer wanted to come across as every bit as sexually viable as Amanda, her young competitor. But my guess is, she hurt her cause.

My wrap on the show is this: Romantic love is about many things, but for all the poetry, for all the promise of companionship, in the vast majority of cases, it is about reproduction. On that field, fertility trumps. In retrospect, the ending of “Age of Love” was only natural.

Age of Love: Episode 7

2007-08-05T18:27:00.000-04:00

Episode 7 of Age of Love was fairly interesting, by turns infuriating, nauseating and sad.

INFURIATING. In episode 6, Amanda revealed Jayanna’s conniving activities to Mark. Mark became indignant and gave Jayanna a terse, tense schmoochless good-bye. At the start of this episode, the remaining women watched a video of Jayanna attempting to make Amanda look conniving, insisting she had turned Jayanna’s attempts to counsel her into something nefarious. Jenn (one of the 40-somethings) and fond of Jayanna, was displeased, but it was obvious to this viewer that the video merely put a luster of veneer over Jayanna's true colors. Good riddance, you bitter, manipulative prematurely aged beyotch. No wonder no man has been able to stand you.

NAUSEATING. Poor, vulnerable, desperate Maria, she who has twice before threatened to leave because she wasn’t getting what she needed from Mark. While her tender comforting of Crazy Mary was one the show’s best moments, any compassion I might have felt for her was lost on the dance floor. In this episode, she and Amanda accompanied Mark for salsa lessons. In her epileptic attempt at sexualized dancing, Maria did everything but fake an orgasm against his leg. Embarrassing. Most people need to be really liquored up before they start moving like that. Happily, she finally made good on her threat and quit the show. Good luck out there, head-gamer, you insatiable affirmation sponge.

SAD. Megan was the front-runner, but this episode tripped her up twice. First, she stumbled during a date consisting of having tea with Mark. The 21-year-old was in over her head, showing Mark that at least when it comes to some things, age does matter. Cultural sophistication (for whatever it’s independently worth) is one of them. Later, after Maria’s pathetic departure, Mark announced he was flying the final three to meet his family in Australia. Megan was so afraid to fly, she left the airport. Maybe fear of flying isn’t so bad for most women, but for the girlfriend of a tennis star, it would be a big handicap. Farewell, Megan, young, pretty, charming, you who sparkle like water freshly melted from snow. If I had been Mark, I would have flown my family to L.A. to meet you, and planned my tour dates to allow time to drive or sail to them.

Jenn is now my front-runner. Pretty, mature, in Mark’s league intellectually and culturally the way poor Amanda is not. Close call, though. Can’t wait to find out Monday night.

Age of Love: Episodes 5 & 6

2007-07-29T05:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, it’s been two weeks since I last posted about the NBC’s Age of Love. In episode 5, weepy Mary was sent home in a poignant elimination meeting in which Maria once more threatened to leave on her own. Episode 6 brought the dispatch of Jayanna, who had emerged as perhaps the second-least appealing woman on the show after Kelli.

Some of the boards I’ve read predict Amanda—long, flowing hair and a spot on a professional sports team’s dance squad—will win. After all, she clearly has fallen for Mark, and there is some apparent reciprocity. But I believe she has come on too strong, and her rapid, obvious descent into affection will be her undoing. Too, too soon conveys on the part of the smitten inferiority and a desperation that turns off its object. Mark will forsake her and instead end the show with Megan. She is playful, flirtatious without being obsequious, and every bit Amanda’s equal when it comes to looks. Jennifer, an interest to him, will prove too old, and the crusty, fickle Maria just won’t cut it. One caveat: Maria’s elusiveness may work at the other end of the spectrum of the principle that will doom Amanda: By being fickle about Mark, she increases her perceived value to him.

All in all, I’m enjoying the show, and look forward to getting back on routine with Monday night’s episode.

Age of Love: Episode 4

2007-07-15T06:57:00.000-04:00

Kelli is gone, and if she’s not careful, Amanda—despite her early chemistry with Mark and the romance that seemed to blossom in Episode 3 of “Age of Love”—may be right behind.

A 40-year-old legal secretary from Los Angeles, Kelli might as well have had “man-eater” tattooed on her ankle. She was manipulative in getting time alone with bachelor Mark Philippoussis, and seem determined more to win a game than actually to make a connection. The interspersed interviews with Mark didn’t reveal much of his thinking, but if typical guy reactions were a factor, my guess is she was too controlling of the interaction, pushing him rather than subtly leading him. Pushing is transparent, desperate. Pushing emasculates. Pushing leads to evasion.

Amanda, a 25-year-old assistant to a financial planner, isn’t pushing so much as she gushing. In Episode 3, after Amanda was edged out of alone-time by the conniving Kelli, Mark escorted her to a limo, and they kissed. Attraction was obvious and mutual, and seemed to grow nicely later. But Amanda seems to have fallen hard and fast, so much that Tessa—in a goofy (and ultimately fatal) move—brought up Amanda’s affection during her one-on-one with Mark. The 30-something tennis player was appalled by Tessa’s bringing up one of the other girls during their date, and let her go at the end of the show. But the move may also prove terminal to Amanda.

The harm of enthusiasm

Attraction ultimately is based on trying to find the best possible match we can for our genes. And as we negotiate the unions that make the spread of our genes possible, we not only try to go as high as we can in partner quality, but also to avoid going lower. When someone we might initially be attracted to as a match comes on too strong (Kelli) or conspicuously becomes ready to close the deal more quickly than we, our instinct interprets the signs this way: While I might be attracted to this person, she perceives me more as a more valuable match than I see her, which means that perhaps they know something about herself which if I knew it, too, would lessen my attraction; therefore, they are not a match. Buh-bye.

That’s why playing hard-to-get or feigning lack of interest can be such a successful dating strategy. We image ourselves as being a better match relative to the person being conned than we would otherwise seem.

Amanda, if I could back in time, I’d advise you to pull back from him during your next encounter.

Do women talk more then men?

2007-07-07T22:07:00.000-04:00

A study of speaking habits among 400 U.S. and Mexico university students reveals men and women speak roughly the same number of words each day.

The study, reported in Science magazine but summarized here, found that among the 19- to 25-year-old students, men spoke just under 16,000 words a day, and the women slightly more.

While gleefully debunking the conventional wisdom that women talk more, the researchers do allude to other work that found in professional contexts, men actually speak more, but in the context of personal relationships, women out-verbalize men.

News of the findings has shown up on an impressive number of sites, and will no doubt provide fodder for many a water-cooler debate. Some of my observations:

* By studying students at a university, researchers dramatically limited their focus on the types of men and women they looked at, and even the context itself—a scholastic environment where much of the time is spent in homogeneous activity such as attending lectures, studying or socializing—forces a certain equivalency upon the genders and their speech habits.

* My guess is that among professional adults, at work, men and women talk more, but at home, men may do less talking.

* If we think back to some evolutionary heritage, where females tended to care collectively for the extended families or tribes, and men hunted together or alone, it would seem that we would have evolved as men to speak less—not need the speech so much—while the women would have naturally had more occasion to use and develop the relevant part(s) of the brain.

Age of Love: Episode 3

2007-07-03T08:53:00.000-04:00

In what was the most interesting of the episode so far of "Age of Love," bachelor Mark Philippoussis had “individual” lunches with the women, two private limousine rides with ones of his choosing, and two group dates. The differences between the two groups—the 20-somethings and the 40-somethings—really began to show.

The lunch

Mark was allowed to choose a woman from each group for lunch. Both women believed the lunch was to be one-on-one, but in fact, Mark would alternate between their two separate tables at a restaurant. Whomever he was with at the end of 60 minutes would get private time during dessert while the other woman was sent back to the apartment.

Mark chose Amanda, who looks very much like Hillary Swank but prettier, from the younger group, and Kelli, whose long legs Mark had previously appreciated and whose sexuality he had noticed. Over the course of the meal, Mark seemed to prefer that he have the dessert with Amanda. Their conversation appeared more fluid and natural, while Kelli’s dialogue came across as mechanical, focused on helping her win the extra time by manipulating where Mark would be when the time ran out. A couple of times as the seconds ran down, she threw in some non sequitur questions and went so far as to hold him place to remove some lint or food from his clothes while he squirmed to dash back to Amanda, Mark being too polite to merely bolt.

The tactic was successful. Mark escorted Amanda to her car, and he was visibly disappointed to say farewell. They shared a mouth-to-mouth kiss that left them both ecstatic. Meanwhile, Kelli boasted oddly that her landing the dessert time was a victory for “the team.”

The group dates

Each team got to choose the group date activity that Mark would experience with the other side. In a significant tactical error, the older women chose a playdate that involved Mark, the 20-somethings and children at an indoor recreational facility. While the selection may have been intended to limit one-on-one time or burden Mark with images of baby-totting wife-mommies, the setting in my opinion couldn’t have been more perfect for the younger women. The occasion likely highlighted for Mark that the one thing any of the younger women could give him that none of the older women could is many years of fertility. The point was made when Mark appreciated how well Adelaide got along with the children.

In the background, Crazy Mary—who, hints of psychological instability aside, has the best natural body of the group—seemed about to become unhinged as Mark neglected her.

Mark chose Adelaide for a one-on-one ride back to the apartments, and ended the time with a kiss on the mouth.

The younger women selected a seniors-only water exercise class for Mark and the 40-somethings, apparently believing the older women wouldn’t look so hot in bathing suits. Granted, they weren’t so taut as the younger ones, but looked so far as I could see reassuringly attractive. Water frolicking ensued, and a good enough time was had by all that the 20-somethings would have been disappointed in their choice.

Mark chose Maria for the private ride home, which continued to a conversation alone in one of the apartments. The conversation was cool enough that Maria determined there was no chemistry between them, and that she would say she was leaving if he asked her to stay during the elimination round.

When it came to say goodbye to one woman each from the two groups, Mark first said goodbye to Adelaide, saying the kiss just wasn’t indicative of future passion (my wording, not Mark’s). The farewell was visibly hurtful to Adelaide, who nonetheless during a post-elimination interview said she knew the connection wasn’t there, too, but had been deceiving herself—an understandable defense mechanism in the face of rejection, assuming she had had feelings for him. Amanda—my favorite at this point to make it all the way through—was naturally relieved.

When Mark was cycling through the older women, he said that while their alone time left much to be desired, he still wanted to learn more about Maria and asked her to stay. Contrary to her statements to her teammates, she waffled and agreed to remain. My take is that the bombast about leaving was another defense mechanism: Sensing the worst, she wanted to maintain control of the looming rejection. Who can blame her? If one senses a breakup is on the way, it’s better to be the one doing the breaking. He concludes by letting Lynn go, who now I cannot remember one thing about.

A final observation

In Mark’s interaction with the two groups, one can see traces of our bifurcated romantic lives. Early, it’s about passion and sexual energy, while later, when our reproductive mission is past or winding down, it moves to companionship and comfort.

Supporting the theory here: a) Mark kissed two younger women on the mouth and none of the older women, and b) the reaction to him by the 20-somethings seems more personal than reactions from the older women. In other words (SATHA take), the younger girls are responding to attributes of Mark the DNA behind which they subconsciously want to merge with their own.

On the other hand, Mark appears to enjoy very much his time with the older women—that the time fun and relaxed (read: free of sexual tensions) indicates the older women are good companion material to him. (SATHA take: When it comes to companionship, the wants are less specific than those attached to mating, and therefore viable candidates for it are more plentiful.) Also on point is that the rejected older women lament of the pass of an opportunity for a relationship, not necessarily of an opportunity for a relationship with Mark. And Kelli’s bizarre comment about winning one for the team fits perfectly as well: It’s about the end, not the individual means to it personified by Mark.

Next week: Both groups merge. Look forward to observations about female competitiveness. Predicted advantage: 20-somethings.

Can gays go straight?

2007-07-01T05:44:00.000-04:00

A story on CNN.com looks at one man who says is homosexual orientation is immutable and one woman who says she changed her sexual preference from female to male. In addition, CNN says that for the first time since it asked the question a decade ago, a majority of poll respondents believe sexual preference cannot be altered.

I’ve ready many stories on the ability or inability of gay people to convert themselves to straight. What the stories and the debates and studies behind them lack is consideration that sexual preference may come from more than one ill-defined place. Perhaps not all people are gay or straight for the same reasons. Or perhaps there is one source for preference, but it impacts some people with differing intensity. Consider, too, that many women seem more comfortable being casually sexual with women than men seem to be with men, and that men are more comfortable with female homosexuality than same-sex orientation among other men. Regarding the latter point, anyone who has watched a Girls Gone Wild infomercial or scanned YouTube for videos of girls kissing girls has seen ample evidence of it. (A search on YouTube of girls kissing girls returns about 20,900 responses, while a search of men kissing men produces only 3,680.)

My first response on whether people can change sexual orientation is to say I could never force myself to be attracted to other men. But how realistic is that consideration, given the general social taboo of male homosexuality? Where there is less taboo about girl-on-girl activity, however, we find many women who playfully cross lines all the while identifying themselves as straight.

Ultimately, I believe, we’ll find that some orientation is hard-wired with various intensity, some is based on the alterable psychology of the particular homosexual, and some people who do change are merely closing down on one option afforded them by a bi-sexual orientation.

Fecund fathers = less viable daughters?

2007-06-30T21:55:00.000-04:00

According to London’s The Telegraph, a study of red deer finds that males who do especially well at reproducing spawn daughters who do significantly less well.

The study examines why within certain populations there is more genetic variance than existing theories of natural selection would predict. In other words, as successful males pass along their genes, limiting opportunities for weaker ones, the populations would tend to be more genetically homogeneous than they in fact are. The answer to the puzzle is that the female progeny of superior males don’t fare well when it comes to reproducing.

Says the abstract of the study itself, as published in Nature:

We show that male red deer with relatively high fitness fathered, on average, daughters with relatively low fitness. This was due to a negative genetic correlation between estimates of fitness in males and females. In particular, we show that selection favours males that carry low breeding values for female fitness. Our results demonstrate that sexually antagonistic selection can lead to a trade-off between the optimal genotypes for males and females; this mechanism will have profound effects on the operation of selection and the maintenance of genetic variation in natural populations.

SATHA take: Perhaps an additional factor is that selection may prefer fecundity to pass to male offspring, and more conservative breeding ability to female offspring. A male offspring has the opportunity to produce many more descendants than a female would. In addition, each egg the offspring fertilizes is one another male cannot. By creating female offspring, however, the father indirectly creates eggs for males of competing lines to reproduce. Rather opportunistic, then, potentially is the strategy: Take out opportunities for your competitors while only begrudgingly creating them.

Age of Love: Episode 2

2007-06-27T06:11:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know it’s reality TV, and the hipper of critics (professional and water-cooler alike) are supposed to view them generally with mild scorn. But despite the hokum and schmaltz, the reality of them can be real enough to the players that sometimes, the best reaction to what’s on the screen is to sit back and appreciate that one is watching real hurt and real caring.

(Pictured: Tessa, who thanks to plastic surgery can never sleep on her stomach again.)

Monday night on the second installment of “Age of Love,” I was touched by the dilemma facing Mark Philippoussis, the 30-something bachelor, as he faced having to eliminate two women, one each from groups whose individuals he either liked well enough to keep around or didn’t know well enough to send home. Mark seems like a decent guy, and the prospect of hurting feelings genuinely appeared to pain him.

While the 20-something women were more blithe about the prospect of one of their number being dismissed (except tearful Mary, wacky enough that one can almost smell a rabbit boiling on a stove somewhere in her future), a couple of the 40-somethings took the threat very seriously. Their appreciation of Mark and, perhaps more so, the opportunity to connect with a man was deep, and it reminded me that I take for granted having a beautiful wife and a loving family, and that as I navigate life from inside a warm emotional cocoon, I pass every day people who are shivering and want to desperately to come in from the cold.

Prediction: Girl we’ll love to hate: Tessa, whose bitchy demeanor will attract the ire of women of both age groups, and whose breasts carry so much plastic they should be tattooed with ‘no smoking within 20 feet’ warnings. God forbid she ever fall on Mark. Those things could break bones.

At the end of the show, painful as it was for him, Mark managed to send one of younger girls home (Lauren, the only girl with any visible minority heritage) and one of the older (Angela, whose departure was a relief for me, as she looks like a former co-worker/nemisis who was ka-razy, man!).

BIOS FOR THE 20-SOMETHINGS
Adelaide, 26
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: Adelaide is a multi-talented young woman on the make and on the prowl in the Los Angeles area. Besides her job as an editor at "Esquire" magazine, she also sings and tap dances, a far cry from the Australian banana shack where she was born. No... really. She was born in Australia in a banana shack! She prefers to date men from their late 20s to late 30s and once moved over 3,500 miles for a man she thought was "the one." Recently, she ended an eight-month relationship and is once again back on the scene and looking for love.

Amanda, 25
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: Amanda doesn't think she's asking too much in a man, but she's still had a hard time finding the perfect one. Fluent in Spanish, a great dancer and artist, and an avid reader, Amanda offers quite the package to her "perfect guy," whoever that may be.

Lauren, 27
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: Lauren considers herself to be very silly and loves to do characters with different voices. She loves to win and is always trying to improve herself; in fact, she once traveled in Cost Rica all alone for a month! One of her favorite things to do is indoor rock climbing so a potential mate would also have be into adventurous activities. Age doesn't really matter to her. Sometimes, she dates men who are 17 years older then herself.

Megan, 21
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: Megan is jealous that her friends from high school are getting married, and she's feeling ready to take the plunge herself, though she recently ended a 10-month relationship, but she knows exactly what she wants: someone between the ages of 26 and 32 who can make her stomach flip when she sees him and who isn't scared to fly on planes like she is!

Tessa, 23
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: Tessa doesn't care what people think of her. She can't stand pushover guys and because of her headstrong attitude she insists she won't get along with anyone in the house. Tessa enjoys being pretty and well kept (sic), but in the end, she knows that she is more than just a pretty face.

Name: Mary, 24
Never married, no kids.
FROM NBC.COM: If Mary thinks someone is worth her time, she will do what it takes to make things work in a relationship... especially if the guy likes amusement parks as much as she does! She typically dates men from age 26 to 34, but has found that dating in Los Angeles is horrible and blames this for the reason why she has not found the man of her dreams (she grew up in New Mexico). While her last relationship, when she was 20, only lasted for two months, her level head and thoughtful approach to life has prepared her to finally meet "the one."

An eye on the prize

2007-06-26T06:22:00.000-04:00

According to a study reported in Slate, women not on the pill are more likely to zoom in on the genitals when shown pictures of naked men, while men are more likely to look at faces of naked women. (Women on the pill, however, looked other places, such as at clothing and the background of the photos. Go figure.)

Researchers attributed the different foci on how the genders determine sexual readiness of potential partners: Women can judge by looking at whether a man is erect, but a man must scan a woman’s face for clues.

In addition, I’d add, even flaccid, the size and shape of a man’s member can indicate his overall health and hormonal heritage, since levels of testosterone even at the embryonic stage can influence size; STDs can be visible from lesions; and the size of a man’s scrotum can indicate his sperm-making power. Sorry, women, unless it’s a very, very close perspective, there’s not much difference one view to another.

Age of Love: Episode 1

2007-06-25T06:16:00.000-04:00

It’s the kittens vs. the cougars, and heaven help me, I can’t resist following what NBC grandly is calling more than a reality TV show, but a social experiment. The conclusion between tested? Whether age matters when it comes to mate selection.

(Pictured: Jodi, 46, is eliminated. She is the second oldest and arguably the oldest-looking of the contestants.)

The premise of “Age of Love” fits within the editorial focus of Sex and the Human Animal, that is, understanding human behavior from its animal origins. We’re in sync with NBC and most of America when we assume the kittens—the group of 20-something women offered up to the bachelor—have the edge. After all, the dynamics of reproduction have for thousands of years put the momentum behind the group’s appeal:

1. Younger females tend to be categorically healthier and therefore better suited for the rigors of child-bearing and child-rearing.

2. Eggs released earlier during a female’s reproductive years tend to be more sound genetically.

3. Having had sex with fewer partners on average than older females on average, younger females are less likely to communicate STDs to their mates or offspring.

One could make an argument for the kittens based on the appeal of their presumably smoother skin and firmer features such as breasts, buttocks and gonads, but since those attributes tend to support the more practical considerations enumerated above, they are secondary.

In the first episode (rebroadcast tonight as a prelude to Episode 2, we have the drawn-out introductions and hype deliciously typical of early episodes in reality series. Eventually, bachelor Mark Philippoussis, the hunky tennis player, meets with the women from whom he’ll select, and to his surprise, they are 39 years old and older—40-something, in other words. He’s never dated older women, he says. (Why? Because as a successful, good-looking athlete, he hasn't had to.)

He picks four of them and takes each rappelling from the side of a city building. Toward the end of the show, he lets one go—Jodi (for bios of all the women, see below), the second oldest of the group at 46 and arguably the oldest looking.

Then—dramatic music, please—host actor Mark Consuelos tells him that making his ultimate choice is going to become more difficult, and the curtain comes down on the 20-somethings. Perhaps to help level the playing field, the younger girls are not so good looking as one might have expected them to be. While the 40-year-olds are very attractive for their age (forgive me), the younger ones are merely average—not head-turners the way some reality-show candy is.

BIOS FOR THE 40-SOMETHINGS
Jodie, 46 (eliminated episode 1)
Occupation: VP of Commercial Real Estate Company
Married once, in 1996 for seven years. One son, Jack, age 8
FROM NBC.COM: Jodie is a successful businesswoman who used to work on the committee of Narcotics Abuse and Control for the government and now she feels that her responsibilities to her son make her not the ideal catch. But as long as a man is confident, takes care of himself, and isn't hung up on age (Jodie once dated a man who was 22!), she is ready to find a new partner who is as spontaneous and wild as she is.

Kelli, 40
Occupation: Legal Secretary
Never married, with no children
FROM NBC.COM: Can long-distance relationships last? Kelli may have an opinion on that as her last relationship fit that definition and ended after a year and a half. But that hasn't slowed this Marine brat and former Los Angeles Raiderette on her quest for love. Now, she dates men from ages 32 to 42 who love outdoor activities and is looking to get married and start a family.

Jennifer, 48 (oldest in group)
Married twice, in 1979 for four years, and in 1999 for two years. One son, age 25.
FROM NBC.COM: For 17 years, Jennifer has worked for the owner of the Los Angeles Lakers, but in her love life, she has yet to make the perfect shot. She's been married twice – the first time didn't work out because she was simply too young. Her last boyfriend was 23, which is in keeping with her general rule of dating guys from age 20 to 40, but when it comes to finding the right man, he'll have to value family just as much as she does.

Maria, 42
Married once, in 1989 for two years. No children.
FROM NBC.COM: Maria is a modern, confident woman who has no problem asking men out on dates – just as long as they are in their 30's to 50's. However, she does fall in love easily and can be aggressive when in relationships. At the age of 42, she's now sure of two things: she's glad she's not in her 20's and that really good-looking men don't quite cut it in the boudoir.

Jayanna, 39 (youngest)
Married once, but NBC.com has not detail on it. No children.
FROM NBC.COM: Jayanna is a native LA resident and an independent career driven woman. At just 21, She started her own silk screen company, and then ran a staffing company and production company shortly after. She was married in her 20's for a short time and feels that she has really learned what is important in a husband. Jayanna has never let anyone or anything stand in her way. She is a hopeless romantic at heart who is not wiling to settle for the wrong guy. She's looking for an amazing man to sweep her off her feet.

Angela, 40
Married twice, once in 1987 for one year, and in 1993 for four and a half years. One son, age 21.
FROM NBC. COM: Since her last divorce, 10 years ago, Angela has only dated "here and there," and hasn't been involved in anything too serious. Like many women, she wonders if her dream man really exists, but if he does, he'll probably be in his 20's or 30's since available men her age are hard to find. He will also like to do fun and exciting activities since Angela likes to discover new things.

Lynn, 40
Never married, and no children.
FROM NBC.COM: Lynn grew up in Hawaii, but has yet to catch a wave into the right man's heart. When it comes to dating, Lynn takes things much slower the older she gets. She often dates men who are ten years younger than her, though her last relationship only lasted for three months. Pickup lines are a major turnoff, which is no surprise coming from a gal who is a bit of a homemaker who loves to cook and bake.

Your brain on fatherhood

2007-06-23T06:17:00.000-04:00

A recent conference at Tuft university, reported at Slate.com, highlighted four physical changes experienced by dads-to-be and new dads.

The discussion of them may shift the perception that so-called “sympathy pregnancy” symptoms are more than mere psychological flukes, and that there are adaptive motives behind the altering of daddy—that is, the changes help perpetuate the species.

1. Fathers-to-be gain about 20 percent of their body weight. The math was based on increases for certain other mammals who are part of the 10 percent minority whose males participate in child-rearing. One theory suggests the additional weight helps provide energy the fathers will need to help care for the offspring. Another theory (mine) suggests he may be preparing for periods of deprivation, in case during the child’s infancy food runs short and he must sacrifice his shares to the nursing mother or the weaned young.

2. Increase of bonding hormones such as cortisol and prolactin. Their release seems to be triggered by the male’s nearness to the expectant mother, who is awash in them. Also upped is vasopressin, a hormone which when injected into males who are not fathers prompts them to be more responsive to infants.

3. A temporary decrease in testosterone. The reduced levels help dads stay focused on child-rearing, not on fighting and seducing new females.

4. Heightened brain activity for planning and memory. For dads, this change helps them keep better track of where the children are and what they’ll need.

Historically, the article laments, dad’s changes in response to parenthood have been a sidebar to mother’s, viewed almost as quaint or comical. The results show that nature has created a more detailed, friendly set of conditions for newborns than was previously understood.

Does she want it or not?

2007-06-21T06:11:00.000-04:00

In a June 10 post, I referred to a study that said the sex drive of women goes down within the context of a long-term relationship.

Now, a new report, featured in a story on LiveScience.com, seems to contradict it. “Study Debunks Myth that Women Want Sex Less,” declares the headline.

As summarized in the story, the study, performed by researchers at the University of Florida, surveyed 208 women and 131 men. The researchers asked them to respond to various statements about sex and associated issues, such as sex dreams, STDs and multiple partners. While women tended to identify more strongly with the romantic aspects of sex and be more fearful of committing social taboos and contracting STDs, once in a committed relationship, they indicated just as strong an interest in lovemaking as male respondents.

What the newer study does not address, however, is the longevity of the mutually strong amorousness. One would expect a woman to be more conservative with her choice in partners before settling on a long-term one: Few eggs and the prospect of onerous, sustained childrearing make it prudent for her to be slow to sleep around. (Social mores that condemn female promiscuity probably evolved to support the reluctance.) But once a long-term partner is selected, it would be natural for desire to amp up to expedite fertilization.

Later in a relationship, when the family nursery is full, other factors may arise to turn down the heat: the ability to care only for a certain number of children, an instinct to withhold sex from the male in order to heighten its perceived value, or possibly an instinct to begin closing down one relationship to open oneself to another, increasing the genetic variety of her offspring and thereby upping the likelihood more of them will survive and thrive with descendants of their own.

In other words, enjoy the honeymoon, guys. It won’t last forever.

A big to-do about No. 2

2007-06-19T22:39:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, I was involved with a woman whose natural smell contained a whiff of garlic. All the time, regardless of how long ago was her last trip to Olive Garden.

But while her odor was pleasing to me, my odor to her was not. Maybe my natural scent would have fared better if it hadn't been laced it with nicotine and Maker’s Mark and thinly veiled with a carpet-bombing of Axe.

Point is, while many of us know that smell is important to other animals, not many accept how important is to us, too. We subconsciously pick up pheromones, for example, and some scientists believe we can smell certain DNA markers that may help us ID good genetic matches.

Smell even may help mothers be good mothers by mitigating noxious baby smells, thus keeping their little ones from grossing out mom too badly, or at least helping moms keep track of their babies in environments where there may be multiple, similar looking ones.

The story, though a bit old, is interesting nonetheless: Scientists asked mothers to rate the smell of fecal matter collected from multiple infants. Mixed anonymously among the samples were stool smidgeons from their own babies. Consistently, the women rated as better smelling the stool of their children.

Pity the poor folks who had to collect the samples, and the mothers who used an afternoon they could have spent at, say, Olive Garden, to put their noses into some pretty bad business.

Female sex drive and monogamy: Going down

2007-06-10T20:26:00.000-04:00

For years, I thought I was the problem: Had I left the door open one time too many while sitting on the commode? Let the newly sprouting nose hair extend too far toward the upper lip? Why else was the sex train making fewer stops at the marital depot?

Thanks to a study in the journal Human Nature, which was reported online by the BBC, I can feel better about myself, even if the whistle continues to blow less often than I’d like.

Summary: The decrease in the sex drive of women in monogamous relationships is prevalent, and the change seems to happen just a few years into the relationship. Of course, as personal experience and the laments of virtually every married man I know testify, the amorousness of males goes virtually unabated.

Why are those things so? By slowing her sex drive, nature does two things.

First, it makes the woman less likely to stray into the arms of someone not her mate. In other words, you don’t buy too much at the grocery store if you don’t go in hungry. Second, by only reluctantly—or at least only seldom—succumbing to her husband’s moves, she maintains his interest in her by seeming to be less interested in him, and therefore comes across as a genetically desirable provider of eggs. (A woman too interested in a man seems desperate—biological code for overly anxious to upgrade her descendants by mixing her eggs with his sperm.)

I wonder, though, if there isn’t another advantage to be considered from the perspective of natural selection: By being less available to him, is a female sending him out to prowl for additional partners, perhaps at the expense of males who aren’t getting their job done? The unsatisfied male strays not too far from home, and makes efficient use of underutilized wombs elsewhere.

More likely, though, is this: As we moved to a monogamous culture, the sex drive of the male—unmet at home, forbade expression not at home—was forced to find a non-sexual outlet: increased productivity in terms of work.

Color us horny

2007-06-10T20:22:00.000-04:00

A group of fanny-focused researchers at the California Institute of Technology believes primate ability to perceive color evolved not necessarily to help us judge the ripeness of fruit, but to help judge the willingness of potential mates, the mettle of potential foes and presumably the health of both.

When primates began losing their hair, males could spy previously covered aspects of female anatomy, such as the buttocks and nearby genitalia. Since arousal sends extra blood to external reproductive organs, engorging them and thereby giving them a redder hue, males who could see color could more efficiently detect availability among females. Kind of like spotting a tattoo on the small of a woman’s back when she leans over the bar to grab an ashtray. Some things say it all.

The cues are fair in war as they are in love. Since blood tends to drain away from our faces when we are afraid—the body diverts its to muscles used for fighting or fleeing—opponents weighing attack can see how serious a threat we perceive him (or her) to be. In other words, if you and I are about to fight and you see I’ve gone pale, you’ll have more confidence that you can take me and be more likely to try.

Finally, at least three attributes of poor health affect the amount of blood that reaches skin level and alters its hue. One is the narrowing of the tiny blood vessels that carry it there. Another is the ability of the heart to pump blood to the complete ends of the circulatory system. Finally, health results in better oxygenation of blood, and blood with more oxygen is redder than that with less. Healthier primates, then, are rosier ones—useful information before we offer someone a chair or try to smash it over his head.

Welcome

2007-06-05T06:48:00.000-04:00

I have had success in relationships, as well as failure that brought me to my knees. I have been happy and content in the arms of some women, and to the point of emotional havoc watching the arms of others embrace other men.

To understand everything is to hate nothing, someone once said. My corollary is that to understand everything is to be hurt by nothing. Why do some men and women come together (and stay together!) while others don’t? What can a man do to increase the likelihood of entering into a relationship with a woman, be it for a night or a lifetime? And most important, what is the very nature of the bond that solidifies such short- or long-term connections. Just what is this crazy little thing called love?

The answers, and the key to understanding virtually all of human nature, can be traced to our animal origins. The connection between humanity and animality is a fascinating subject, one on which I have done a great deal of thinking and do much reading. This blog shares information from both sources.

I subscribe to the theories of evolution and natural selection, but even if one believes differently—i.e., those who accept intelligent design—there is much to be learned if one accepts that no matter whether we’re differentiated with an indestructible soul, our physical predicate is beastly.